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I went upon my honeymoon My husband he went too Well! A friend of ours once told us That's what you're meant to do The car was piled with luggage Tin cans were strung behind We chose a seaside hotel The best that we could find Upon arrival we were met By friendly management The bridal suite was filled with flowers Champagne on ice was sent At last the hour of darkness fell and I prepared for bed, "I'll go and put the car away" My brand new husband said Two hours later all alone I searched for him in tears One peep into the garage Confirmed my deepest fears He'd met a kindred spirit The owner of a SAAB With heads under the bonnet They discussed his triple carb I could see that I was beaten It was written on his face In a choice between the car and me I'd already lost the race But you can learn to love them Just as you your spouse As long as you don't mind The bits of engine in your house So take heart all you wives and girlfriends, All is not in vain If you can share his love of SAABs Together you'll remain. Transcribed from the SAAB club newsletter (Compact Front Wheel Drive Club of America), May 6, 1977 Originally published in the British SAAB Owner's Newsletter 4-77 |
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Ode to Sonett |
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I wonder whose car next you'll f*ck Though you're driven like a car Your bumper's simply up too far S U V, you're like a truck Underneath your front I'm stuck Jeff Powell, February 2001 |
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A pushed-in spot where a bumper high, Did caress my 4-door's tail, (It had been well and truly nailed.) My questing eye revealed no note, The jerkbag simply heaved his boat To port or starboard, chugged away, Let damage be as damage may. A friend of mine was nailed as well; Her grille was shattered all to hell! And which of us knows not a one With Saab unscathed by dent-and-run? When Ares' bloody hand is shown, And panic raised and discord sown, Shall case be made 'tween foe and foe? 'Twas this, not that one, struck the blow? Nay, once grave Ares' dogs unleashed Do ravage, Justice shall be not beseeched, So may all Turboids raise a key, And gouge the paint of an SUV! -Strokespeare Gavin McNett, February, 2001 |
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(Sung to the tune of "The Tigger Song.") A wonderful thing is a Viggen, A Viggen's a wonderful thing, Its head is a-made of a-lum'num, Its tail is a-firm'ly springed. It's bouncy, pouncy, flouncy, trouncy, Fun fun fun fun fun! But the terrible thing 'bout a Viggen, Is that I do not have one. Gavin McNett, June, 2001 |